my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
