I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
