help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
FUCK WHALES
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
