omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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