pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
You're like the curious george of whores
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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