Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
His hands were made for my vagina.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just want to make out with him forever
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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