Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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