I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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