I didn't shave. On purpose
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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