My boss' voice literally gives me gas
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
