these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
