I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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