Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
