therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
