Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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