Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
