also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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