They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Randomize
