when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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