My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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