Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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