i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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