you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
