Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
