That's intense
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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