ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
