Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
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