I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
