just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
