This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
