Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
