new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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