Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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