...so i touched it.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
