Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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