He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
