hell yes lets make some ravioli
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
