I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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