oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I think my fart just growled at me.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
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