remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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