she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
