I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
