If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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