Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
