if only i could text you this smell
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
