i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
