cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
