So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
