he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize