walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I have aggressive nipples.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
