Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I don't deserve a penis
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
