Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
