Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
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